Hi all!
Just in case you still
didn't read enough..
HUMO interview part 4:
Humo: Wouldn't it be
quite a relaxed idea not to ask that much of yourself anymore?
Helmut: "Maybe when I am 82!
(smiles)
This is the way I am. This last year happened to be a little more
quiet and during this year I have been confrontated very much with myself. In
earlier days everything seemed to be quite simple: I did everything just perfect
and I was successful. I had good explanations for the things that went wrong in
my life. I never was to blame! (smiles) To be short, I was, at least I thought I
was, doing, acting and behaving very well!
This year however I started to think about and to consider, searched for some friends, had some talks with them, they all are very reasonable people for whom I have respect and slowly I noticed: there still is some work to do concerning this boy! I realized that I am a very impatient, focused, nervous, obsessed and neurotic guy. Because of the fact that all the time I found myself in a kind of merry-go-round, I thought that it was normal that I always was that very "stressed". But when I stepped out this merry-go round, I noticed that I still behaved this way. Every day there was something to get "excited" about, spots on the glasses, the garden, still not finished and more..
Actually right now I realize that as a child already, I acted the same way. Everything had to be perfect. At school I always wanted a score of at least 90%. I remembered I once came home with 8 times a 10 and 2 times an 8 on my schoolreport. Those 2 times the 8, happened to be the blot on my report."
Humo: Has this something to do with your mother?
Helmut: My mother always
stimulated me to come home with high notes, that's true.
Everything might
have to do with my youth. The fact that my father everytime disappeared out of
my life, was quite unstable and caused some unrest. Maybe that's why one might
feel the need to some more regularity and controll. I also always feel
responsible for everything, even when I am not. After the divorces I felt
responsible for the fact that everyting went quite smooth and normal. My
brothers are different, they're not getting excited that very fast about
details.
Just like I brought some seconds ago the plate with some food to Hildegarde (press attachée, sitting two banks further away). While talking here to you, I think, help! She didn't notice the plate and if this plate stays here longer than 15 minutes, it will be full with bacteriums. I'd better finish the things where I really am responsible for, a little more better.."
Humo: That's what you're doing. Your concerts and your records are the best!
Helmut: "I mean as a human being. Sometimes I do have too less attention for others. I always am busy with structures, order and details that I fail to see the normal and simple, social, cosy contact with people, although I really am able to be a good and social guy! This is what I try to change at the moment, trying to solve this neurotical behaviour. I can imagine myself as Jack Nicholson in "As good as it gets". You should know, for half a week already I left my post closed. Isn't it good?"
L